Derek Fishers new court-Save me from this crazy bitch.

I Love You Derek

So I can admit that women are changing in the world today but C’mon some crazy bitch has Derek Fisher and his family so freaked out that he has stepped onto a new court and asked for protection. Its not the protection normally associated with NBA players, Fisher wants help from big brother to save him from this crazy chick who is stalking him and the Fisher family. Okay, so I can see the need for some protection but damn man you make more than the entire police force combined. Can’t you hire someone to take this bitch across country and introduce her to Charles Barkley or something. Hell you and Sir Charles could be big and little brothers and Barkley is  certainly going to be more open to the opportunity.

Give her a couple of Ruffies and tell her to slip them into the wine coolers and bear claws that “Sir Charles” seems so fond of. C’mon Charles bear claws,  really you were caught with wine coolers and bear claws? Shit that has to be the most ridiculous bitch creating moment in recent history. Then you go on TV saying “Im Sworrry” those wine coolers go to my head and I know better than to mix them with bear claws. “Pweese fogive me so I can continia to talk about basketball on your tv”. Damn I would hate to see what kind of trouble Barkley would have gotten into if he would have scored some Mikes Hard Lemonaid or even ordered a fruity drink with an umbrella and a pretty piece of fruit smashed on the side.

Time to balls up man and grab a beer or god forbid take a shot or two. Maybe you can also consider downgrading from the bear claws and try keeping yourself to the plain old human size round ones with the hole in the middle. I know the hole makes you crazy because you feel like someone stole the heart of your donut but its okay man, really it will be okay after awhile you won’t even miss it.

So Fisher, save our public funds and ship the bitch to the wine cooler and bear claw loving “Round Mound of Rebound”.

Problem Solved.

D-